Monday 31 December 2012

Happy New Year

Well 2013 is upon us already - 2012 has gone so fast - and I'll be saying the same this time next year - lol.

New Years Resolutions -
To finish writing my novel - The Wormhole Effect
To finish reading Wizards First Rule
To read and write more
To have fun and be happy

Hope you all have good night - here's to 2013 !!!!

Neil x

The Hobbit - Review

Recently went to see the above film with my good friend Chris and his mate Tim.
Was very exicited about it as I love the Lord of The Rings Trilogy and this film and Peter Jackson don't dissapoint - just felt like we had never been away from Middle Earth.
It had the same familiarity to the LOTR Trilogy with the same music, camera shots, New Zealand beauty and even cameo's from it's stars - Ian Holmes as original (older) Bilbo and Elijah Wood as Frodo.

And of course it had Ian Mckellan back as Gandalf and I like him even better here - he uses a bit more magic in this one and in most of the scenes.  I enjoyed Sylvester McCoys performance as the brown wizard Radaghast also although having never read "The Silmarillion" which he and others appears in it threw me at first as I read The Hobbit a few years ago.  This was quite welcome as it added to the story and everything bit unexpected.

The drawves were played well by their actors and the action was very good - I didn't even notice the difference of the new film rate Peter Jackson filmed it in and can't understand why there was a fuss about it - if anything the film looked very fresh and crisp.

Overall a very good start to a new trilogy (even if I do hate prequels made after the originals - aka - Star Wars), and I look forward to seeing the next two as a few surprises in store - like the new bad guy - the Necromancer.

9/10

Friday 21 December 2012

Dead Drunk

Hi Folks

Hope you are all well - haven't been on for a while but have now finished the short story that my mate Phil Henry challenged me to about a month ago:
The challenge - write a short story around the following:
"A local guy is in his local pub but he has died a few weeks earlier - how is he there."
So hope you enjoy my story Dead Drunk:

Phil swayed back and forth at the bar.  His eyes were heavy and almost shut.  This was for a number of reasons.  Firstly he was blind drunk.  Almost literally.  Secondly he was extremely tired.  He hadn’t slept well for two weeks.  The reason for this was the third reason.  He was upset.
“I can’t believe Martin is dead,” he said loudly to his friend Neil.
“And I can’t believe Leeds have been relegated to the fourth division,” he continued.
Neil smiled down at his short friend.  He was good company and Neil liked how he always had his blond quiff and leather jacket.  He reminded him of Doctor Who when it came back with Christopher Eccleston.  Phil was short in stature but big in heart.  He knew he had to get him home soon.  Phil was steaming.

“Who would have thought  a squirrel bite would be so bad for someone.  And he died so suddenly with it too.  And you should believe it cos Leeds are shit,” laughed Neil.
Phil looked up as Neil’s muscular arm reached round him.  In a way Phil envied him.  He was quite tall and toned and always had the ladies after him.  His dark brown eyes looked back at him.  The bastard he thought.
“Better get you home soon Phil it’s quiet in here tonight and your steaming again!”
Phil decided to ignore his friend and called the bar woman over who was painting her nails.
He ordered two more drinks for them both.  He wasn’t bothered how much it would cost as he had won three hundred pounds on a scratch card a few days ago.
He picked up his drink and supped a quarter of his pint before burping and raising his glass.
“Here’s to Martin.”
“Here Here,” Neil agreed and took a swig as he searched the pub for any fit women he could chat up.  Sadly it was too quiet in The George and Bull pub. 
Neil scanned the pub which for a town pub was clean and nicely decorated and it was also light.  He was glad of this as he hated sitting in dingy dark pubs.  He couldn’t see the ladies for one thing.  Alas there was hardly anyone in.  Two old couples sat on sofa’s around the corner chatting.  A couple of workmen stood at the other end of the bar in hard work boots with clothes covered in plaster and paint.  They were quite drunk also and had trouble making their roll ups.  Tobacco scattered across the bar and onto the floor.

He also noticed two middle aged women sat chatting at a table nearby.  One was very skinny with long blond hair, the other bigger built covered in tattoos.   Normally Neil would have been over chatting them up but he knew they were more into each other than men.  Shame he thought because every holes a goal.

Whilst he was trying to look down the top of the butch woman he failed to notice Phil had downed his pint and had ordered two Jack Daniels and coke.
“Here pal,” her slurred to Neil.
Neil was concerned now.  He hadn’t seen Phil drink as much or as fast since the time they had sneaked into a private birthday party where it was a free bar.  They had to drink and eat as much before they were discovered to be gate crashers.  It had been a good run.  Nearly two hours until the birthday boy, a spotty twenty one year old, went over to them to ask who they were and had the bouncers kick them out of the pub.  But the damage had been done with the two of them and Martin drinking shot after shot and eating all the chicken wings and sausages on sticks.
Phil even ate a big piece of the birthday cake without it being lit for the birthday boy.  Martin had been sick in a bin next to the food.  And Neil reminisced how he had got the birthday boys sister to give him her number.  Good times he thought.  But he missed Martin as much as Phil.

“Off for a piss,” slurred Phil as he bumped into Neil and stumbled into the table with the two lesbians chatting, knocking a half of bitter over the table.
Phil steadied himself on the corner as the butch woman gave him a mucky look and was about to shout at him.
“Sorry gents,” he apologised and made his way around the corner to the toilet.  He slammed into the cubicle which already had sick in the corner from earlier on in the day,  and stood peeing with his head resting on the cistern.  He was dozing off to sleep.

After five minutes loud banging on the cubicle brought him round.  Drool dripping from his chin, wee down the right of his leg.
“Piss off you gay bastard,” Phil shouted out , his eyes barely open.
“Phil.  Phil.  Get out here quick it’s Martin,” shouted Neil.  His voice full of panic and fright.
“Yeah he’s dead,” slurred Phil in return almost inaudibly and zipped himself up.
He eventually got the latch open on the toilet cubicle and almost fell out onto Neil.  Using his hand to lean on Neil’s muscular toned shoulder.
Neil walked Phil out of the toilet and pointed towards the bar.  His finger  shaking in fright.
“Look,” he exclaimed.

There at the bar was Martin, walking and banging into it like he didn’t realise it was there.  The suit he had been buried in was dirty and decomposing.  His skin was pale white, with a green tinge to it and the smell of rotting flesh hit right back to the toilets.
Most of the people in the bar were staring at him in horror and fright.  Except the workmen at the end of the bar who had just finished rolling up two monster spliffs, ready to go smoke them out the back in the smokers yard.
Phil wasn’t frightened either.  Through very blurred vision all he could see was his old pal Martin stood at the bar.  He didn’t realise the implications of this.
“Martin,” he shouted over to his very dead friend.  He turned to Neil who was looking pale and nervous.  “He must have been in a coma pal, at last some good news,”
With that he wobbled over to his mate at the bar and put his arms around him and gave him a hug.
“Martin your ok,” he slurred, “Am I glad to see you.  Have you heard about Leeds?  What an injustice.”
Phil didn’t notice that Martins eyes were rolled back in the sockets of that maggots had created a hole into the left side of his high cheek bones and could be seen on the edges of the flesh wriggling about.
“Three pints please,” Phil shouted out at the barmaid who was now backed up in the furthest corner of the bar away from them shaking.
She nodded and warily walked over to them.  The sound of the glasses clanging together echoed through the pub as she shook nervously trying to pull the lads some pints with her long neatly painted red nails.

By the time she had finished the third pint Neil had moved to the other side of Phil who had picked his pint up and started drinking it.
“Phil, you should move away from him,” warned Neil.
Phil ignored him, drinking his pint and watching his mate Martin who was staring at the pint then at Phil.
Martin moved closer to Phil sniffing at him.
“Phoood,” Martin groaned.
“Of course,” said Phil “You’ll be starving, a bag of dry roasted nuts please,” he asked the frightened barmaid.
She tore down some nuts and threw them onto the bar and moved back to the relative safety of her corner.  Silence hung in the air a few moments.

The silence was suddenly broken by the main door loudly banging open and a small chubby black haired lass stumbled in followed by her tall lanky boyfriend who looked fed up.
“And I said to your Mam,” she moaned to the poor sap behind her, then stopped dead as she saw Martin at the bar.
“Oh fuck. Didn’t think things could get worse.  It’s Martins ex,” Neil said to Phil who was oblivious to all as he was swaying wildly on the spot.
Phil suddenly fell backwards.  Luckily Neil was there to catch him before his head hit the floor.  He was totally out of it.  Unconscious through the amount of alcohol he had consumed.
Neil got his mobile and rang the local taxi firm to pick him and Phil up as Martin’s ex stormed up to Martin and shouted abuse at him.
“You sick bastard,” she started at him, “You’ve played one sick trick too many pretending to be dead.  I thought I’d lost you.”
“Phood,” repeated Martin who suddenly leaned in fast on his ex and bit and tore at her throat, ripping it open.   Dark red blood shot out everywhere from her throat  spraying the bar area as she fell to the floor lifeless.
“Jesus,” shouted Neil who picked up a pool cue from the table behind him.
The two workmen at the end of the bar just stared in horror.  The two lesbians just sat staring as they couldn’t get past Martin who had now started tearing strips of belly flesh from his ex and eating it greedily.  Blood running all over his hands and face and the pub floor.
Martin pulled out his ex’s long intestines and they hung from his mouth as he chewed them.   One of the pretty lesbian was sick at the sight.
The woman’s new boyfriend had sensibly turned tail and ran back out the door, into the street and into the front of an oncoming car which hit him and dragged him under the wheels.  The back wheel crushing his skull under the cars weight.

Back inside the pub the butch lesbian was going to make her move also and get past Martin who was crouched down eating his ex’s liver.  The sudden movement as she stood up to jump past him made the dead Martin act on instinct who swiftly grabbed her fat ankle and bite a large chunk of flesh from it.  She screamed in pain and with her other leg kicked him and jumped past, running out the pub leaving her lover  crouched in the corner of her seat.

It was at this point Martin saw the unconscious body of Phil laying on the floor and started to crawl over to his legs.
Luckily Neil was seeing what was going to happen and readied the pool cue.
“Sorry Martin,” he said loudly.
Zombie Martin looked up as Neil swung the pool cue with all his might at his head.  He flew backwards with the force and the pool cue stuck into the side of his skull as his eyeball popped out of the socket and rolled onto the floor covered in green eye gunk.
Martin landed next to the workman nearest to him and bit his leg.  The workman cried out.
“Mother fucker,” he shouted down at Martin then proceeded to stamp repeatedly onto his face and skull with his hard work boots smashing his skull to bits as blood and brains spattered everywhere over the pubs wooden floor.
It was at this point a beep of a car horn was heard outside.  Neil picked Phil’s slim, small frame from the floor and carried him through the side door to a waiting taxi.
“What’s happening here boss?” enquired the small and chubby asian taxi driver.

Neil laid Phil on the back seat of the taxi and hurried round the side of the pub onto the main road.  It was utter carnage.  What was left of Martin’s ex’s boyfriend laid under the rear wheel of a black Audi.  A lot of people stood around looking in shock.  Some were filming it on their phones as an emergency ambulance fast response car pulled up.
A few feet from the pub the butch lesbian was coughing up blood.
Time to go thought Neil.  Will have to drop Phil off at his flat he thought .  Neil would have took Phil back to his but didn’t want to be cleaning any sick up, plus his gerbils weren’t used to strangers in there.
Neil jogged back round to the taxi and gave the driver the instructions of where to go.

Phil woke groggily at the sound of his mobile ringing loudly.  A pounding, hangover headache hitting him instantly as he tried to open his eyes as he looked at the time on his mobile. Eight Thirty am.
Who’s ringing at this time he thought and answered the phone.
“Hello,” he answered hoarsely.
“Phil it’s Neil.  You alright.  You remember last night?”
“Not really,” replied Phil “Can you ring me at lunch?  I need to go back to sleep.”
“What!  You don’t remember Martin?” asked Neil.
“Of course, we buried him the other week,” answered Phil.
“No he was in the pub last night.  Don’t you remember.  He was some kind of zombie,”
“You watch too much sci-fi,” replied Phil.
“Martin ate out his ex on the pub floor!” exclaimed Neil.
“That’s nothing,” Phil retorted “ he once got barred for having sex with her on the pool table.”

Someone banging on Phil’s door moved him away from the conversation.  He went to the window and looked out.  The sunlight blinded his already sore eyes and he just saw an outline of a person stood at his door.
Luckily for Phil he failed to spot that it was the workman from the pub.  All pale skinned and blood on his hands and down his face.  A green wound on his left leg.
“What’s happening?” called Neil down the phone.
“Someone at the door,” replied Phil.
“Don’t answer it,” urged Neil.
“I’m not going to.  I think it’s a fucking Jehovah’s witness,” answered Phil.
“Phil listen,” started Neil.
“Neil will text you this afternoon,” Phil had cut him off. “I’ve still got some scratch card money so my treat.  We’ll drink till we’re dead.  See ya later.”
With that Phil turned his phone off and stumbled back into his bedroom.  He laid down on the bed and ignoring the noise of banging outside and screaming he fell back into a deep hangover sleep.

That's All Folk's

Well the time has come - 21st December 2012 - for the END OF THE WORLD!!

I Suppose it had to come sometime though - although it would have been nice for it not to happen until Boxing Day at least that way could have seen what I got for Xmas!!

Not sure how it will end - Asteroid, mass flooding (already started in parts of England), social breakdown with rioting and looting and no law (that so last year).

Myself I'm hoping for either a virus breakout that turns a couple of millions into Zombies - Zombie Apocolypse sounds fun and a stress reliever as you bash a skull in - or
Solar Flare that knocks out all technology and we go back to dark ages - bow and arrow stuff - and it's like living in a David Gemmell novel - hard life but more fulfillings doing your own hunting, making your own house etc.

Well enough waffling in what may be the last post I do - enjoy the End.

To put you in the mood will re-post my Zombie comedy Dead Drunk for you!!

Neil

Tuesday 11 December 2012

Busy Busy

Hi everyone

Well yet again haven't done much writing, or reading been too busy with Xmas upon us!!

In the last few weeks I have been on an excellent works do at Berties in Elland which was very good complete with Xmas brass band and disco.
The Christmas lunch there was excellent especially the melon salad starter and Lemon Merringue bombe!

I also want on another night out with my mate and Evil Corp which he started up to book with his friends years ago when all they saw was big work partys booking meals.
A very fun night and way too much to drink in sunny Brighouse!

Last night Monday 10th December was the regular CWG (Cleckheaton Writers Group) meeting which thanks to my suggestion went to a Wetherspoons in Cleckheaton - fun was had as I managed to top up from Saturday - lol and we discussed everything from what we planning to write in new year and competitions to the state of Britain and the mess it's in.  I also noticed some dirty looking xmas lights across the road where we was sat!

Have also been busy xmas shopping for presents for my daughter as well as xmas decorations - a very expensive business christmas - sob!!

Anyway I'm hoping to do some writing during the Xmas and New Year period as well as finish Wizards First Rule - the book I been reading from last Jan!!

So folks till next time - happy Xmas shopping 

Neil

Monday 26 November 2012

Writers Group Meet 26/11/12

Hi Guys

Well  I managed to get my arse to the CWG (Cleckheaton Writers Group) meet tonight - through the dark, wind and rain!  Was glad I did as not many there today just myself, Dawn and Karen.
Pauline, Laura and Dane couldn't make it (ain't even met Dane - lol).
We talked about what we were working on - Dawn is about to enter her Childrens story into a competition now she has almost finished her 2nd draft.
Karen is also entering her Young Adult novel too and only 2 chapters to go till she finishes - well done ladies!
They have inspired me to get back into my novel The Wormhole Effect which I confessed I was having doubts about as I had recently seen a film in last month which had similar themes - a machine that takes people to another dimension and Lizard people baddies  - although the film was a bit crap and one of Will Ferrells weakest.
Karen and Dawn told me I should go for it as most stories and books have similar themes an example being Twilight and Vampire Diaries!  I too have noticed this in quite a few books - it hard to find truly original stories.  So with Dawn and Karen pushing me on I will get back into it - hopefully this week and I have been thinking about it alot recently - different scenarios etc.
And besides my themes are alot different - my novel will be very adult and be dark in tone!!!

Karen also read two chapters from her novel Thorde which were very good - only problem is they were chapters in middle of novel so was a little lost but other than that very good!

Just hoping they go with my suggestion to have the next writing group in a pub - for chat and few drinks - well it is Christmas - almost!!

Well till next time folks

Neil

Monday 19 November 2012

Oh dear

Well I have a problem!!

This is primary a writing blog with a few reviews thrown in for good measure and have just realised I have no more short stories to add to the blog - I need to get some writing new ones - I've still two challengers to do - write a short story from a woman's POV and write a story about a woman seeing a ghost that happens to be her son - got 2 ideas for these and a James Bond spoof which I wish I had done to co-incide with the new Bond - all that and my novel The Wormhole Effect too!! 
From tomorrow will be busy - wish me luck.

C ya guys - Neil

Sunday 18 November 2012

Update

Hi folks

Well haven't posted for a while been busy with various events - most notably seeing the new James Bond flick Skyfall and seeing author and ex SAS man Andy Mcnab!!
I have also been reading and catching up on my Writing News Magazines as am a month behind on them as well as re-reading my novel ready to re-start writing.

I have also been watching alot of Paranormal shows recently like Ghost Adventures and Paranormal Witness so being on my own have had the ebby jeebies and hidden away in bed instead of writing.

This means this year I haven't entered the NanoWrimo writing task which takes place every November to get people writing a novel or at least having a go!  Was going to continue mine but been told it to be a fresh novel from scratch - good luck to my Cleckheaton Writers Group colleagues and any other writers taking part.
Below is a quick review of the Andy Mcnab author event and Skyfall.

SkyFall - the latest in the James Bond franchise and many reviewers and critics have said it's tone of the best Bond movies out and I have to agree.  The opening scene is very action packed and reminded me a little of the Bourne films.  Bond gets badly injured and presumed dead when he turns up again to serve Queen and M he isn't quite the Bond we knew - the injuries have taken their toll on him as and he is quite unfit.
The bad guy is very good - a betrayed agent who seeks revenge on M.
The best thing about the film is that it ends where the Sean Connery films started - a male M, Q and Miss Moneypenny.
Score 9/10

Andy Mcnab Author talk - Huddersfield Town Hall - 8th November

Well I abit behind with my posts wanted to put this up before - but I was glad to meet and see Andy Mcnab - a British institution who has been through alot - from living in borstal when young to joining the army and working his way up the ranks to becoming SAS and on inportant missions in the first Gulf War and againest the drug cartels of Africa - he's most famous for being a POW in the Gulf War paraded on Iraq T.V and being tortured for 6 weeks.  He came back with dislocated shoulder, kidney and nerve damage and hepatitus as well as a few missing teeth.  He is one of only three of a group of eight alive - another being author Chris Ryan who escaped.

Andy was a warm and down to earth man who now enjoys success with his novels - most notable for his account of his mission Bravo Two Zero and his thriller novels featuring Nick Stone of which is has begun writing the newest one and is 20,000 words into a 120,000 word book.
He told us his new book featuring new character Tom Buckingham - Red Alert is to be made into a film next year.
He also mentioned he goes around military schools and gives talks and lessons as an advisor. 
He also works on films giving technical advise on weapons and fight scenes.  He was an advisor on Heat with Al Pacino, Black Hawk Down and the Transporter films.
I bought one of his Nick Stone novels Dead Centre which I am looking forward to reading - will give a review on here when done so - with my slow reading it will probably be in 2015 - lol.
Anyway a better account of Andy Mcnab night is on Karen's blog at www.karennaylor.blogspot.com

blog soon folks!!!!

Sunday 21 October 2012

Bargin Books

Hi

Found an excellent deal yesterday (Saturday 20th October).
What happened was I went into Halifax (stab vest intact) at 4PM and as I walked past Halifax Libarary a man came up to me with big white carrier bags.
"Here Govenor there's a book sale on at libarary downstairs, you got five shillings?".
So I took a carrier bag off him and ventured into the libarary and down the stairs to find huge tables still quite full of books - to say sale had been on all day!
 I perused the books looking for what I would like - mainly Sci-fi, Fantasy, Thrillers and a couple of crime novels for my Mum.

At first I thought it was a Pound a book - how wrong was I!!  It was a pound per carrier bag full of books!
That's right fill a carrier bag full of books and purchase said bulging bag for one measly Pound!  Bargain.
Plus it cheap xmas pressies for Mum too - ha
These are the books I bought - although still about 100 books I already have to read including Wizards 1st Rule which I started in January 2012.
Stephen King - Everythings Eventual  - Collection of short stories from the king of horror.
Stephen King - From a Buick 8
Andrew Lane - Young Sherlock Holmes - Death Cloud
Chris Ryan  - The Increment
Ian C Esslemont - Night of Knives
Tom Holt - The Better Mousetrap
Michael Jan Friedman - X- Men - Shadows of the Past
Kevin Ryan - Star Trek - Errand of Fury (Book 2)
C S Goto - Warhammer 40,000 - Eldar Prophecy
Chris Roberson - Warhammer 40,000 - Dawn of War 2

Plus 2 crime novels for Mum - a Sue Grafton one I think!
One woman there had about 5 bags full of books - the lucky swine!

Well I'm off to finish reading Wizards 1st Rule - got so many books to get through - oh and write of course - if get the chance lol

Till next time guys!!  Neil x

Wednesday 17 October 2012

Visiting Time

Hi

Here as promised is my latest short story which I entered into the Calderdale Short Story Competition - didn't win - boo! 
It's a change of pace from my normal stories - less plot and more character driven - so less action but a sad tale about a family dealing with a member of family with Alkzeimer's.
Enjoy "Visiting Time"

The grey haired old man sat in his comfy leather chair staring out with deep blue eyes at the television.  The news was on but he wasn’t taking it in.  He just sat and stared.  He didn’t even look up when there was a knock on his room door and it opened up.
A young, pretty, dark haired woman entered in blue and white nursing uniform.  Julie was the name on her  badge.
“Stanley you alright?  You’ve a couple of visitors!” she exclaimed.
Stanley looked up as Julie stood to the side and a tall muscularly black haired man entered with a slim blonde woman by his side.  Have I seen them before wondered Stanley as they came close and the strong muscularly man gripped him tightly in a bear hug squeezing him close.
“Hi Dad, you ok?” he asked the old man.  Looking down into the man’s staring blank eyes he added,
“It’s Nigel Dad, your son.”
Stanley looked up into the man’s face.   He was brown eyed and handsome with strong features  but for all his strength there was a vulnerability to his eyes and as he spoke a weakness in his voice.
Nigel sighed as he felt his wife squeeze his hand and they sat on the bed next to the old man’s chair.  There was a clinical smell to the room.  The walls were painted white.  It wasn’t very pleasant.  Both Nigel and his Dad had been in better places he thought.
“I’ll leave you for now - visitor times finish in an hour remember – do you want a drink?” asked Julie still at the door.
“Tea please.” shouted Stanley to the nurse in a jolly tone.  His throat was dry.  He hadn’t had a drink for over an hour.  He had forgotten to ring for service.
“Make that three teas please.” Offered Nigel looking at Julie who nodded and left the room.
For a few moments there was silence as Nigel and his blonde wife sat and watched Stanley who had returned his gaze to the television.  Nigel noticed that his father looked fit and healthy, as he had years ago when he was sharp of mind.  But that was just the outside.  He knew Alzheimer’s had ravaged his father’s mind.  He didn’t even know who he was.  His memories forgotten.

Julie came back with a tray of tea and biscuits – she knew bourbons were Stanley’s favourite.  She put it down on a table next to the television stand and turned off the television.
“Stanley you have guests, your son is here to visit.  He wants to talk to you.” She said.
“Son?” asked Stanley as he looked up at the strong man sat on his bed beside him.  Nigel gave him a weak smile back.
Julie left the room.

“How you feeling Dad?  Your looking well.  Any aches or pains?” asked Nigel.
His father looked back up and smiled.  Then farted loudly and chuckled.
“I could do with oiling!” he laughed.
Nigel laughed back and his blond wife smiled.  It had eased the earlier tension and Stanley talked to his son about the weather outside for a few minutes.
They then all sipped at their tea’s and ate their bourbons.  Stanley dipped his into his tea and on the last one he had he swore as half of it fell into his tea cup making the bottom a brown lumpy mess.  He put his tea cup back onto the table grumbling under his breath.

“Dad we have exciting news,” Nigel announced as he looked over to his wife and her stomach which Stanley noticed had a slight curved bump to it.
“Cath is pregnant again. You are going to be a Granddad again.” Nigel spoke enthusiastically.
He hugged his wife close as Stanley smiled at them both.
“Congratulations “ he said joyfully.
“Talking of grandkids, Elliot says Hi and misses his Granddad.  He was going to come today but would have been too confused.  He’s Six now and starting his second year at school next month.  Here’s a couple of photos for you.” 
Nigel took photos from his wife’s handbag and passed then to Stanley who happily flicked through the five photos of a happy boy with brown hair and eyes.  A double of the man talking to him thought Stanley.  One had the boy on a swing.  Another showed the boy laughing with ice cream on his nose.  One had all three in the photo together.  Nigel looked on intently as Stanley scanned the photos hoping and wishing photos of his son would somehow trigger the old man’s memory again.
He knew deep down that wouldn’t be the case.  The doctors advised him his father had an aggressive form of Alzheimer’s and the fact that he had only had it two years was frightening.  No one realised at first.  He would forget his keys now and again.  Then he would forget names or to turn his cooker off.  Within six months he was so bad he found himself sat in the rain in the park  not knowing where he lived.  Eventually he didn’t know Nigel’s name or his brother.  Let alone his grandson Elliot or daughter in law Cath.

The old man shuffled the photos neatly like a deck of cards and passed them back to Nigel.
“No Dad these are meant for you to keep!” advised Nigel with a smile.
Stanley looked at the photos and gently put them on the arm of his chair.
Another few moments of awkward silence followed as Stanley shuffled in his chair for comfort.  He looked up at Nigel smiling.
“Have you any news sir?  It can get lonely stuck in this room all day.”

For the next 20 minutes Nigel with the help of his wife told Stanley what had been going on in their  lives since their last visit the week before.  From Nigel’s brother Tom taking over a building contract in Australia and still being single at forty five years old, to Elliot’s achievements at school including learning to swim.
They mentioned how they were doing at work too and how busy they both were with Nigel having more shifts at the gym he works for and Cath looking forward to maternity leave from the high school she works at.

Nigel told Stanley of their friends and neighbours and how they were doing and that he had acquired an allotment down the road from the nursing home Stanley was currently in.  He promised to bring his father fresh fruit and vegetables each week for the nurses to prepare for him.
All way through the conversations Stanley listened intently to them, smiling, nodding his head at certain parts and enjoying the company.  There were a few occasions during the talking that he stared blankly back at them and at one point mumbled something about being late for school. 
The main point thought Nigel is that Dad has company and someone to talk to him.  That I get to see him.


After another short silence in the room Stanley started yawning and his guests both noticed how tired he was looking.  Dark circles ran deep under the old man’s eyes.  He smiled up at them.
“Sorry kids didn’t realise how tired I am...” Stanley started.
“It’s alright Dad we’ll leave you to rest.  We’ll see you soon enough.  I might pop in, in a couple of days from my new allotment.”
Stanley stood up and shook Nigel’s hand.  “Thanks for visiting young ones.”
Even though Nigel knew his father had forgotten who he was, he was glad he could still visit like this.  He knew it wasn’t the same and would never be again and that the man shaking his hand was a shell of the man who was his father.  At this thought, Nigel started getting upset again.  A couple of tears escaped from his eyes.
“Ohh come here Dad.” he said as he grabbed Stanley hard again and hugged him tight for a good few moments. 
He let go and his wife leaned in and kissed Stanley on the cheek.
“See you later Dad.” She said in a sweet soft tone.  It was like music to Stanley’s ears.



          *                          *                   *                     *




Stanley watched them walk out the room.  The tall handsome man held his head bowed down low as the slim blonde rubbed at his back reassuringly.  They opened the door went out and the door shut gently behind.  Stanley stood there smiling.  The strong scent of the man’s aftershave lingered in Stanley’s nose.  He breathed it in deep.  It was very strong.  Stanley liked the scent, a musky aniseed smell.  It was familiar to him.  As quickly as he had breathed in the aftershave something clicked in his mind.  Suddenly memories came flooding back.

Images, smells and feelings all came flooding back to Stanley all at the same time.  He was confused with so much going into his mind at once but now he knew who the tall man was.  His son Nigel.
He remembered Nigel as a baby all fat and cute with wavy brown hair and sparkly brown eyes.  His other son Tom stood over watching and wanting to play.  An image of his wife Mary came back to him also.   She was stood tall with long auburn hair wagging her finger at the boys for playing pranks.  Their heads were held down in shame, hands behind their backs.
Memories of playing ball in the park with his boys came back to him vividly and their first day at school.  They looked very smart in their plum coloured school uniforms.  He was so proud.
Different images of the boys came back to him of them growing up, from toddlers to men.  There were so many memories  in such a short space of time.

Stanley rushed over to the window and looked out and down to the car park where he saw his tall son holding his wife’s hand as they strolled to their car.  Again he was so proud.  He wanted to talk to him.  Tell him how much he loved him. Loved them all.
More memories  came back to him.  This time it was a sad memory of being dressed all in black with his two sons holding him up for support  as he wept over his wife’s coffin.  Mary had died of cancer a few years before.  Stanley also remembered being in hospital  as Nigel showed him his first grandson Elliot.  He was the double of Nigel when he was a baby and was looking more like him as he grew up.

With his nose pressed against the cold window Stanley stared sadly and helplessly at his son and daughter in law as they entered their car and drove away.  Tears rolled down his cheeks as he stood willing them to come back, to talk to him knowing what he now knew. 
It was not to be.  As quickly as he had remembered his sons and major events of his life the memories just as quickly vanished, stolen from him.

Stanley wiped the tears with the back of his wrinkled hand, puzzled as to why he was crying.
“Silly old fool,” he muttered to himself as he walked over to the television putting it on.
As he sat himself into his comfy chair he didn’t see his Grandsons photos and knocked them onto the floor.
Stanley grinned happily to himself as he saw a solitary bourbon biscuit sat on the table near him.  He picked it up and continued to watched the news.

Tuesday 16 October 2012

CWG - Monday 15th October

Hey guys - I spoiling you - 2 post on one night - what gives!!

Well we had another successful Cleckheaton Writers Group and we even had a new member - Laura.

We all welcomed Laura and discussed with her what we were all writing at the moment and what we had written.  Laura hasn't written anything yet and is just plotting her novel - she will share with us once she has written something.
Karen and Dawn took us through the many workshops they had been to over the last 2 to 3 weeks at Morley Literature Festival including a Superheros workshop which sounded ace!
Also updated Pauline and Laura on Sundays workshop at Hebden which was very good - see last post.
Just before I left I gave Karen, Pauline and Laura my short story "Visiting Time" to read and give me feedback on - so far has been positive - this will be posted tomorrow night on my blog - hope you like.

The next group is on 29th October and there will be another new member joining us - Dane -
Think we're going to need a bigger libarary!!

C ya

Writers Workhop - Sunday 14th October - Hebden Bridge

Hi Guys

Wow - think this has been the longest space in between posts!!  Haven't blogged or written in ages - hope some of you are still around to read my ramblings - lol.

Well as I have said haven't written properly for about a month - maybe more - although the Sunday just gone I attended the above workshop set up by Calderdale Council as part of a Reading and Writing month with my fellow CWG - that Cleckheaton Writers Group team Karen and Dawn.

After being fashionably late for being picked up by Dawn we made our way to Hebden and after finding free parking - hard to do in Hebden we made our way with great enthusiasm to Hebden Bridge Libaray.

After a sign in and cuppa we made our way upstairs with a quite large collection of other would be authors to be greeted by Michael Stewart who opened the event with a humourous look at his
"5 things I hate about Writing"
These were:
5)  Writers Retreats - designed to take money from authors by falsely promising that you will be published once you've sat out in the sun all day, having head massages.
As Michael pointed out you don't need exotic locations to write - JK Rowling did all hers in a scratty cafe eating deep fried mars bars and drinking Iron Bru!
4) The Displacement Activity Industry - this means things there to distract writers and also take more money - e.g. cups with I'm best Writer on side or t-shirts.
3) Celebrity Memoirs - Nuff said
2) The Infantilation of Adult Readers - this is adults reading kids books like Harry Potter, Hunger Games - I personally like reading Meg and Mog on the bus but there you go!
1) The Literary Establishment - for reasons I forget although authors up their own arse springs to mind.

Dawn, Karen and I then went on the first workshop - Talk the Talk with Alsion Taft
This was a course to help writers with our dialogue in prose and screenplay.
This was very informative and we found that in films it's more about the visuals than dialogue.
We did an exercise using the first five minutes of Four Weddings and a Funeral whereby you find out alot about the main characters with only a few word - mainly Fuck!
Alison was very good and we found out quite alot about how dialogue works - for example dialogue should develop plot as well as character.
Be careful writing accents.
Read dialogue out loud to see if it works.
Interruption is good.

After an hour lunch which was superb even though it was vegetarian and had no Fosters Gold - or meat we then made our way to our second workshop.
Myself and Dawn went to Plotting a Novel with Louise Doughty
Louise informed us that the layout of a novel can be pinched from the way a screenplay is set out - usually in 3 to 4 segments with beginning, middle and end.
Louise also informed us alot of time the plots and themes can get mixed up especially when selling your book to the public who usually want to know just the plot and whats going to happen.
Louise informed us that usually a quarter of a way in a novel there is a plot point where something happens and the characters go beyond the point of no return.
Louise also gave the group insight into how she works - she dosen't plot the story but has an intial idea -she then makes notes and does some research then when she is ready puts it all over her floor or kitchen table and puts the notes and research in order to get a lay out of the plot.

The workshop was very informative and Louise was a joy to listen to.

After this we all had another tea - was very British - ha.

We all went back upstairs to find out who had won the Calderdale Short Story competition 2012 and the runners up and winner read their storys out - was a little gutted mine didn't make it into the top four but hey ho!  Although have had great feedback from my CWG members regarding my story and I will post it on blog tomorrow night - hope you enjoy.

Thursday 20 September 2012

John Connolly Author Talk

Hi peeps how you all?

Well still not written or even read much - still reading Wizards First Rule by Terry Goodkind from January - lol but going to get back into that as well as writing.  Still to do a short story from a woman's POV.

Anyway in the meantime on Monday 17th September went to the usual CWG - Cleckheaton Writers Group and had fun chatting about what we were writing but more importantly there was a buzz of excitement as we were going to an author event at Cleckheaton Town Hall to see a talk with crime novelist John Connolly.

Now I have to hold my hand up - I not a great fan of crime and had never heard of John Connolly - most popular for his Charlie Parker series.  His newest novel is out now.

Here's a snippet of what I learnt from his talk about him and his writing.
He writes American crime based in Maine although he is Irish but there are no great crimes taking place in Ireland.
Advised that all Writers are Readers first and that deadlines are suggestions - and usually go past - ha.
Here John quoted Douglas Adams who said that he enjoyed the sound of another deadline wizzing past!
When he wrote his first novel he put everything into it plot wise and other novelists do too as they don't know if they will be published again and want to get a great book out!

John advised that writers usually end a series by killing off the main characters ala Morse and it is usually hard to conclude a series satisfactory.
He isn't sure if he will be killing off Charlie Parker or at least not telling anyone.  John has an overall plot arc for the series although when he first started the series he didn't and started as he wrote more of them.

John shared that he writes without planning the plot and usually jus knows the opening scene of a novel.
He also writes 1000 words a day.
He also gets to about 20,000 words in his novels and wants to give up or throw away and advised that is around the point most writers usually abandon their attempts at a novel between 20,000 to 40,000 words.
But he also advised you learn valuable lesson from finishing a novel.

He also told us about his foray into films whereby one of his short storys was made into a film with Kevin Costner staring although it bombed and went straight to DVD.
He warned when film companies pay writers it's usually to go away - lol - and that you have to be very careful when selling your work to studios!

After his talk myself and fellow CWG bought a book each and waited in a long cue to get it signed. 
John was a very  friendly person and down to earth author - probably the most since I met David Gemmell a few years back - would put both talks at 10 out of 10.
I asked John for writing tips he advised to keep writing and to finish.  To be persistent and with a bit of luck you can get published as the big publishers are always wanting manuscripts - without them wouldn't be around.  He also told me and Karen it took him 5 years to get published.

All in all a very enjoyable evening with a confident yet very down to earth guy - my fellow CWG member Karen also has a review of the evening which is more detailed and includes a photo of her and John! 
Go to www.karennaylor.blogspot.co.uk to read it! 

Enjoy x

Saturday 1 September 2012

Ann Cleeves Night

Well as mentioned in the previous post I was off to see and meet Ann Cleeves - Crime author at Brighouse Libarary as part of Brighouse Arts Festival week and it was a joyful and fullfilling event with snacks and free wine - hiccup.
I met up with my CWG partner in crime Karen and we went to look at Ann's books on offer to buy.  We are both new to this author and her work and if it wasn't for Ann's Vera Stanhope novels making their way to the small screen we wouldn't have heard of her - although she has wrote quite a few novels.
Karen picked a Vera Stanhope novel and I picked Red Bones - a novel in her Shetland Quartet.

When we went in and waited for Ann she came in and was very down to earth and humble and I am pleased for her success.
Ann mentioned that it was an accident her Vera Stanhope Crow Trap novel got made into a t.v. series as she was a midlist author and her book was bought 2nd hand in Oxfarm by Eileen Collins who was a book scout for ITV Productions and buying it for her holiday.  The rest as they say is history!  Hope that happens to me also - ha ha.

Ann mentioned how she invented Vera Stanhope - she was told by her editors to write a psycological thriller as at the time detective novels weren't in fashion.  Half way through the novel she had writers block and had been told when this happens to introduce a new character (Phillip Pullman also said this).
So in middle of a funeral scene doors open and in walks Vera - more bag lady than detective and Ann liked the character so much she wrote her again.
Ann wanted an anti female detective one who wasn't in shape or good looking - and so Vera is overweight, drinks alot and scruffy and real.
Ann went on to talk about her writing style and that she never plots the novels in advance and that all writers like herself are nosy.
She also adviced that TV Productions buy up a lot of crime novels and not many actually get made it's just so they have the option and other productions can't make them so she was really lucky.
Ann also read out from her novel Silent Voices - which I found quite amusing and to say I don't normally read crime fiction (Sci-fi and fantasy my stlye baby) it wanted me to hear and read more.

Ann also told us what she was working on next a new Vera Stanhope novel and a new Shetland Quartet - so look out for those in the near future.
She ended on a Q & A session then went out to mingle with all us readers and writers and book sign.
Myself and Karen had our books signed and she was very approachable.
I asked if she had any tips for writers - she said to just keep on writing and more importantly if writing a novel to finish it!
Karen gave me a lift (thanks Karen) and all in all an enjoyable night - and yes it has got my creative juices flowing again - so will be writing and posting a new story very soon.

Thanks Ann x

Thursday 30 August 2012

Writers Holiday

Hi there

Well I have been naughty.  Was meant to get stuck into a short story and my novel once I finished my holiday about 2 weeks ago and . . . . .. .  Haven't!!
Why?
Probably because I am in some ways still in Holiday mode and just can't seem to get motivated to get back into it. 
This is most writing I have done - ha ha
I am hoping when I go to see Ann Cleeves - a local crime writer  - on Friday night doing a talk about her work it will help step me up a gear!!
Also have CWG - Cleckheaton Writers Group next Monday 3rd September so that usually gives me inspiration and gets my creative juices going!
I will write a review of the Ann Cleeves night and hope she gives me some insight and inspiration I need.
Till next time guys - Word Up x

Wednesday 15 August 2012

Family Reunion

Hey three posts in one night!  I spoiling you - lol although still to do my short story from a woman's perspective - should do that instead of blogging - ha
Anyway had the honour of meeting up with my Aunt Jeanne who I haven't seen for nearly 20 years since my Dad's funeral and my cousin Tracey who I hadn't seen since really little.
We enjoyed a meal together in the local pub and then a light tea at my flat where they stayed over for the night.  Bel enjoyed them being there also and the attention she received.
It was great fun catching up and we won't be leaving it as long next time to meet.
Cheers guys x

The Dark Knight Rises - Review

Hi

Whilst I was on holiday in Cleethorpes went to a very spanky cinema and went to watch the latest Batman film - Dark Knight Rises.
It was probably the best of the three Nolan films so far - although being a writer I had a good idea of what was going to happen and saw the "twist" ending coming a mile off.
It was well acted and this interpretation of Bane was very good - Tom Hardy very good - although when a twist near end happened there were echoes of the Batman & Robin version of Bane!
One niggle I had was at the beginning Bruce Wayne had an injured leg from the fall at the end of the previous film with Two-Face and walked with a limp and stick.
He gets a device he puts on his leg to strengthen it even smashing a wall.  But it isn't clear if it mends leg completely or he wears it all way through which I doubt but his leg isn't mentioned again.
A plot hole me thinks ?
Anyway a fantastic film and good way to end the Nolan Batman franchise - here's to the next!
rating  10/10

Cleethorpes

Hi Guys

Long time no post - but have been on my jollies to the exotic seaside resort of ......... Cleethorpes - lol
It was a really good time to be had by all - me, daughter Bel and my Mum and Stepdad.

The caravan we stayed in was very nice and spacious we all had beds each.  It was quite modern also.
There was alot to do there including playing on the beach, the busy promenade, fair ground rides, cinema, lake with pedalos which we nearly sank in.
There was also a zoo we enjoyed with a talkative parrot and a mouse that broke into the zoo!
Main thing is Bel loved her time there, so did I.
Will probably go back in a year or two.

Ta Neil

Wednesday 1 August 2012

Hols

Hi Guys

Hope you are all well and dandy.  Well I still been naughty and not done much writing - none in fact - and was hoping to have the short story challenge from a woman's point of view done by now.

Alas I have been lazy and not started it  - yet - thinking of starting it tonight but it will be over a week by time I come back and finish it as I am off to Cleethorpes for a week on a caravan holiday beforehand.

So in about 2 weeks time I should have it finished and posted here and shared with my CWG members!

Will check in on here in about a week!

C yA  Neil x

Tuesday 24 July 2012

Family Funeral

Hi yet again - 3rd time lucky!
Here is what I wrote for the Dialogue challenge my fellow CWG pal Dawn gave us.
There isn't suppose to be narrative and about 500 words - mine a little short - oops - but good practice nontheless as one of my weak spots - enjoy x

“You’ve a nerve showing up here!”
“Look I don’t want any trouble.  Besides she was my Nana too,”
“Yes but you haven’t seen her or any of the family for the last 6 years.  You ran off with that drug dealer.   I bet your high now?”
“No I’m not actually.  I’ve managed to sort my life out.  I kicked that drug dealer out, been to therapy and now got a job.  And I didn’t need your help big sis, or your support.”
“Then why are you here making everyone feel uneasy?  The family know that you are the black sheep.  You pinched from enough of them to feed your disgusting habits,”
“Because like I said she was my Nana too and I loved her lots.  I will miss her too.  Have many happy memories of her and I regret these last few years  but what I did is now in the past.  Besides no one here is perfect.  I covered for you enough times and your affairs.”
“You cheeky ......”
“And how is Derek?  Still oblivious?  Now if you don’t mind I have to pay my last respects to my Nana then will be gone.  Goodbye!”

CWG Meet 23/7/12

Well it's that time again whereby it was another Cleckheaton Writers Group (CWG) meeting - and a very successful one too - we welcomed Pauline - our newest member. 
She is into the same type of reading and writing as ourselves and currently writing a crime novel.  She also attends the Birstall Writers Group (greedy chops).
Pauline as well as Karen and Dawn shared their dialogue challenge writings - very good they were too and to be honest I not fantastic on dialogue - so was glad of the challenge - although I am a tight arse so instead of printing it out on paper using up my ink I will be featureing it next on the blog.

Daniel couldn't attend and missed out on the biccys I brought in (and took home and scoffed).  He also missed some What's On booklets Karen passed out to us.
We also discussed what we are currently writing on at the moment.
I hope to continue with my dimension hopping novel very soon, although my mate Phil has challenged me again to write a short story - the last one was write a story about a local guy in local pub but been dead 2 weeks - of which I came up with zombie comedy Dead Drunk.
Although think will write a story next with a female protagonist as Karen and Dawn pointed out I haven't written anything with a main female character and I liked the challenge - so in the meeting itself as I listened I came up with the image of a woman chained to a radiator in a cellar - my sick twisted mind eh folks?
So will be writing that this week and weekend - short story called Chained! 
I had some fantastic ideas on the hour and twenty minute walk home in the beautiful sun and countryside - my mind was alive (for once.)

Anyway next blog in couple of mins and it the dialogue challenge.  There has to be no narrative just dialogue.

Neil x

Volunteer Day

Hi Peeps

How you all?  Hope you've been enjoying reading and writing at something - ha ha
Yet again haven't been on as much as would have liked but here I am now.

And what an interesting couple of weeks!

First up went to a house near Todmorden with my work to help out with the worst parts of the recent flooding they have been having.
Myself and some colleagues visited some poor blokes house which had been completly gutted.  The flood water had even washed away the support wall in the basement and we spent the best part of the day clearing out the possessions in the cellar and washing away mud left behind - it was a good experience and worthwhile helping people in these types of bad circumstance - hard work but made a big difference.

Best bit is Look North came to film us and I ended up on the tele last Weds 18th July - so had my 2 mins (or seconds of fame)
Tried loading a pic of me from the tele but no joy - was in a protective mask and gown - looked like a bad version of Bain from Batman - ha

Tuesday 17 July 2012

Amazing Spiderman

Hey Peeps

Haven't written anything as yet and got a Writers Group Challenge to do by next meeting 23rd July - eek
I also haven't got back to my novel The Wormhole Effect - need to get on with that - it's a million dollar idea - publishers should beg to publish it - ha ha

Well last night went to see the re-boot of Spiderman - The Amazing Spiderman - and have to admit wasn't all that amazed by it. 
Don't get me wrong the storyline was alright - although we had seen it only 10 years ago in the Tobey Maguire/Sam Raimi movies but that was it - couldn't get the earlier Spidey trilogy out of my head.  I think this was because it hasn't been more than 5 years since Spiderman 3 - it's still fresh in my mind - and probably my favourite Spiderman film so far.
The origin story to The Amazing Spiderman was very similar to the others - just a few tweaks here and there and was more focused on where his parents had gone - something I haven't seen before with the story.
As interesting as this was I just wanted Andrew Garfield who played Peter Parker to don the red and blue suit and to be fair he did play a very good Parker/Spidey - quite different to Tobey's.
By the end of the film I had warmed to him as the main guy - he seemed more vunerable - and got bashed about quite abit.
Ryhs Ifans was very good as the main villian of the piece as Kurt Connors/The Lizard - although his role with Parker was similar to the one in Spiderman 2 with Parker and Dr Octopus.

Overall then a good film but wasn't too amazing - bit slow to start but ended well although a longer fight with Spidey and Lizard would have been better across a few more skyscrapers - here's to the inevitable sequel - hinted at in the post credits - as this should be full steam ahead - 7/10

Also saw the trailer to The Dark Knight Rises - got a gut feeling by watching trailer Bain beats Batman and everyone finds out who he is as shows you Bruce Wayne in prison - who then goes on to kick Bains arse somehow - also ends up limping in trailer too -mmm
well hope aint done too many spoliers if any - see you next time folks

Tuesday 10 July 2012

Phillip Pullman Night

Hi Guys

Almost forgot to mention last Thursday 5th July 2012 myself and fellow CWG (Cleckheaton Writers Group), Dawn travelled all the way to Manchester University to see a talk by Phillip Pullman - the Young Adult Author most famous for His Dark Materials Trilogy. 
A film of the first book was made into The Golden Compass but wasn't well received by fans and critics.

My impression of Phillip was a good one.  He was clever, witty with a very dry sense of humour and kept the crowd captivated by his answers to questions and his stories.
I don't know why but was surprised to see so many children in the audience.

I also have to admit that although I have heard of Phillip and some of his novels I haven't read any - but will soon rectify that in coming months.

Some of the things we learnt about Phillip were:
He works in a garden shed.  Is from Oxford.
Some of his literary touchstones which he grew up with are Superman/Batman comics.  The books Swallows and Amazons and The Moomins - also Noddy and Rudyard Kipling.

The first thing he wrote for children was a play when he was a teacher at 28 for his pupils to perform.
When he writes he has in mind an adult audience but is happy as long as its a big audience.  He writes storys that he would want to read  and so when writing doesn't think of the readers.

Phillip was 24 when he had his first book published but admits wasn't very good.

He is currently writing a sequel to His Dark Materials Trilogy at the moment titled The Book of Dust and Lyra is older in the book.  He is currently writing at a steady 3 pages a day.

He wants to write an old fashioned action film with no CGI or shaky cameras and has written a script to a comic story he has written called John Blake.
Phillips motivation for writing includes money - lol, to make a living, a sense of habit as he has been writing 40 years and the personal joy he gets of writing his own storys and characters.

Well hope you enjoyed some info on Phillip and the talk - myself and Dawn did although we were very lucky with the trains - we only got there just in time!!  We also only just got the right train back - was very lucky - ha ha.

Till next time peeps - and don't forget to enjoy my own stories below - the newest a zombie romp called Dead Drunk!
Neil

Sunday 8 July 2012

Dead Drunk

Hi Folks

Hope you are all well - haven't been on for a while but have now finished the short story that my mate Phil Henry challenged me to about a month ago:
The challenge - write a short story around the following:
"A local guy is in his local pub but he has died a few weeks earlier - how is he there."
So hope you enjoy my story Dead Drunk:

Phil swayed back and forth at the bar.  His eyes were heavy and almost shut.  This was for a number of reasons.  Firstly he was blind drunk.  Almost literally.  Secondly he was extremely tired.  He hadn’t slept well for two weeks.  The reason for this was the third reason.  He was upset.
“I can’t believe Martin is dead,” he said loudly to his friend Neil.
“And I can’t believe Leeds have been relegated to the fourth division,” he continued.
Neil smiled down at his short friend.  He was good company and Neil liked how he always had his blond quiff and leather jacket.  He reminded him of Doctor Who when it came back with Christopher Eccleston.  Phil was short in stature but big in heart.  He knew he had to get him home soon.  Phil was steaming.

“Who would have thought  a squirrel bite would be so bad for someone.  And he died so suddenly with it too.  And you should believe it cos Leeds are shit,” laughed Neil.
Phil looked up as Neil’s muscular arm reached round him.  In a way Phil envied him.  He was quite tall and toned and always had the ladies after him.  His dark brown eyes looked back at him.  The bastard he thought.
“Better get you home soon Phil it’s quiet in here tonight and your steaming again!”
Phil decided to ignore his friend and called the bar woman over who was painting her nails.
He ordered two more drinks for them both.  He wasn’t bothered how much it would cost as he had won three hundred pounds on a scratch card a few days ago.
He picked up his drink and supped a quarter of his pint before burping and raising his glass.
“Here’s to Martin.”
“Here Here,” Neil agreed and took a swig as he searched the pub for any fit women he could chat up.  Sadly it was too quiet in The George and Bull pub. 
Neil scanned the pub which for a town pub was clean and nicely decorated and it was also light.  He was glad of this as he hated sitting in dingy dark pubs.  He couldn’t see the ladies for one thing.  Alas there was hardly anyone in.  Two old couples sat on sofa’s around the corner chatting.  A couple of workmen stood at the other end of the bar in hard work boots with clothes covered in plaster and paint.  They were quite drunk also and had trouble making their roll ups.  Tobacco scattered across the bar and onto the floor.

He also noticed two middle aged women sat chatting at a table nearby.  One was very skinny with long blond hair, the other bigger built covered in tattoos.   Normally Neil would have been over chatting them up but he knew they were more into each other than men.  Shame he thought because every holes a goal.

Whilst he was trying to look down the top of the butch woman he failed to notice Phil had downed his pint and had ordered two Jack Daniels and coke.
“Here pal,” her slurred to Neil.
Neil was concerned now.  He hadn’t seen Phil drink as much or as fast since the time they had sneaked into a private birthday party where it was a free bar.  They had to drink and eat as much before they were discovered to be gate crashers.  It had been a good run.  Nearly two hours until the birthday boy, a spotty twenty one year old, went over to them to ask who they were and had the bouncers kick them out of the pub.  But the damage had been done with the two of them and Martin drinking shot after shot and eating all the chicken wings and sausages on sticks.
Phil even ate a big piece of the birthday cake without it being lit for the birthday boy.  Martin had been sick in a bin next to the food.  And Neil reminisced how he had got the birthday boys sister to give him her number.  Good times he thought.  But he missed Martin as much as Phil.

“Off for a piss,” slurred Phil as he bumped into Neil and stumbled into the table with the two lesbians chatting, knocking a half of bitter over the table.
Phil steadied himself on the corner as the butch woman gave him a mucky look and was about to shout at him.
“Sorry gents,” he apologised and made his way around the corner to the toilet.  He slammed into the cubicle which already had sick in the corner from earlier on in the day,  and stood peeing with his head resting on the cistern.  He was dozing off to sleep.

After five minutes loud banging on the cubicle brought him round.  Drool dripping from his chin, wee down the right of his leg.
“Piss off you gay bastard,” Phil shouted out , his eyes barely open.
“Phil.  Phil.  Get out here quick it’s Martin,” shouted Neil.  His voice full of panic and fright.
“Yeah he’s dead,” slurred Phil in return almost inaudibly and zipped himself up.
He eventually got the latch open on the toilet cubicle and almost fell out onto Neil.  Using his hand to lean on Neil’s muscular toned shoulder.
Neil walked Phil out of the toilet and pointed towards the bar.  His finger  shaking in fright.
“Look,” he exclaimed.

There at the bar was Martin, walking and banging into it like he didn’t realise it was there.  The suit he had been buried in was dirty and decomposing.  His skin was pale white, with a green tinge to it and the smell of rotting flesh hit right back to the toilets.
Most of the people in the bar were staring at him in horror and fright.  Except the workmen at the end of the bar who had just finished rolling up two monster spliffs, ready to go smoke them out the back in the smokers yard.
Phil wasn’t frightened either.  Through very blurred vision all he could see was his old pal Martin stood at the bar.  He didn’t realise the implications of this.
“Martin,” he shouted over to his very dead friend.  He turned to Neil who was looking pale and nervous.  “He must have been in a coma pal, at last some good news,”
With that he wobbled over to his mate at the bar and put his arms around him and gave him a hug.
“Martin your ok,” he slurred, “Am I glad to see you.  Have you heard about Leeds?  What an injustice.”
Phil didn’t notice that Martins eyes were rolled back in the sockets of that maggots had created a hole into the left side of his high cheek bones and could be seen on the edges of the flesh wriggling about.
“Three pints please,” Phil shouted out at the barmaid who was now backed up in the furthest corner of the bar away from them shaking.
She nodded and warily walked over to them.  The sound of the glasses clanging together echoed through the pub as she shook nervously trying to pull the lads some pints with her long neatly painted red nails.

By the time she had finished the third pint Neil had moved to the other side of Phil who had picked his pint up and started drinking it.
“Phil, you should move away from him,” warned Neil.
Phil ignored him, drinking his pint and watching his mate Martin who was staring at the pint then at Phil.
Martin moved closer to Phil sniffing at him.
“Phoood,” Martin groaned.
“Of course,” said Phil “You’ll be starving, a bag of dry roasted nuts please,” he asked the frightened barmaid.
She tore down some nuts and threw them onto the bar and moved back to the relative safety of her corner.  Silence hung in the air a few moments.

The silence was suddenly broken by the main door loudly banging open and a small chubby black haired lass stumbled in followed by her tall lanky boyfriend who looked fed up.
“And I said to your Mam,” she moaned to the poor sap behind her, then stopped dead as she saw Martin at the bar.
“Oh fuck. Didn’t think things could get worse.  It’s Martins ex,” Neil said to Phil who was oblivious to all as he was swaying wildly on the spot.
Phil suddenly fell backwards.  Luckily Neil was there to catch him before his head hit the floor.  He was totally out of it.  Unconscious through the amount of alcohol he had consumed.
Neil got his mobile and rang the local taxi firm to pick him and Phil up as Martin’s ex stormed up to Martin and shouted abuse at him.
“You sick bastard,” she started at him, “You’ve played one sick trick too many pretending to be dead.  I thought I’d lost you.”
“Phood,” repeated Martin who suddenly leaned in fast on his ex and bit and tore at her throat, ripping it open.   Dark red blood shot out everywhere from her throat  spraying the bar area as she fell to the floor lifeless.
“Jesus,” shouted Neil who picked up a pool cue from the table behind him.
The two workmen at the end of the bar just stared in horror.  The two lesbians just sat staring as they couldn’t get past Martin who had now started tearing strips of belly flesh from his ex and eating it greedily.  Blood running all over his hands and face and the pub floor.
Martin pulled out his ex’s long intestines and they hung from his mouth as he chewed them.   One of the pretty lesbian was sick at the sight.
The woman’s new boyfriend had sensibly turned tail and ran back out the door, into the street and into the front of an oncoming car which hit him and dragged him under the wheels.  The back wheel crushing his skull under the cars weight.

Back inside the pub the butch lesbian was going to make her move also and get past Martin who was crouched down eating his ex’s liver.  The sudden movement as she stood up to jump past him made the dead Martin act on instinct who swiftly grabbed her fat ankle and bite a large chunk of flesh from it.  She screamed in pain and with her other leg kicked him and jumped past, running out the pub leaving her lover  crouched in the corner of her seat.

It was at this point Martin saw the unconscious body of Phil laying on the floor and started to crawl over to his legs.
Luckily Neil was seeing what was going to happen and readied the pool cue.
“Sorry Martin,” he said loudly.
Zombie Martin looked up as Neil swung the pool cue with all his might at his head.  He flew backwards with the force and the pool cue stuck into the side of his skull as his eyeball popped out of the socket and rolled onto the floor covered in green eye gunk.
Martin landed next to the workman nearest to him and bit his leg.  The workman cried out.
“Mother fucker,” he shouted down at Martin then proceeded to stamp repeatedly onto his face and skull with his hard work boots smashing his skull to bits as blood and brains spattered everywhere over the pubs wooden floor.
It was at this point a beep of a car horn was heard outside.  Neil picked Phil’s slim, small frame from the floor and carried him through the side door to a waiting taxi.
“What’s happening here boss?” enquired the small and chubby asian taxi driver.

Neil laid Phil on the back seat of the taxi and hurried round the side of the pub onto the main road.  It was utter carnage.  What was left of Martin’s ex’s boyfriend laid under the rear wheel of a black Audi.  A lot of people stood around looking in shock.  Some were filming it on their phones as an emergency ambulance fast response car pulled up.
A few feet from the pub the butch lesbian was coughing up blood.
Time to go thought Neil.  Will have to drop Phil off at his flat he thought .  Neil would have took Phil back to his but didn’t want to be cleaning any sick up, plus his gerbils weren’t used to strangers in there.
Neil jogged back round to the taxi and gave the driver the instructions of where to go.

Phil woke groggily at the sound of his mobile ringing loudly.  A pounding, hangover headache hitting him instantly as he tried to open his eyes as he looked at the time on his mobile. Eight Thirty am.
Who’s ringing at this time he thought and answered the phone.
“Hello,” he answered hoarsely.
“Phil it’s Neil.  You alright.  You remember last night?”
“Not really,” replied Phil “Can you ring me at lunch?  I need to go back to sleep.”
“What!  You don’t remember Martin?” asked Neil.
“Of course, we buried him the other week,” answered Phil.
“No he was in the pub last night.  Don’t you remember.  He was some kind of zombie,”
“You watch too much sci-fi,” replied Phil.
“Martin ate out his ex on the pub floor!” exclaimed Neil.
“That’s nothing,” Phil retorted “ he once got barred for having sex with her on the pool table.”

Someone banging on Phil’s door moved him away from the conversation.  He went to the window and looked out.  The sunlight blinded his already sore eyes and he just saw an outline of a person stood at his door.
Luckily for Phil he failed to spot that it was the workman from the pub.  All pale skinned and blood on his hands and down his face.  A green wound on his left leg.
“What’s happening?” called Neil down the phone.
“Someone at the door,” replied Phil.
“Don’t answer it,” urged Neil.
“I’m not going to.  I think it’s a fucking Jehovah’s witness,” answered Phil.
“Phil listen,” started Neil.
“Neil will text you this afternoon,” Phil had cut him off. “I’ve still got some scratch card money so my treat.  We’ll drink till we’re dead.  See ya later.”
With that Phil turned his phone off and stumbled back into his bedroom.  He laid down on the bed and ignoring the noise of banging outside and screaming he fell back into a deep hangover sleep.